Saturday, April 11, 2009

Three sardarjis and a hotel with 100 floors


Three Sardarjis went for a tour to singapore. They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel. After taking rest they started for a local visit. While leaving the hotel the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before 10.00pm or other wise lift will not be available and they have to take the steps. They agreed and went out.

After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30. Since lift is not available they decided to take the stairways, under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that has to last for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble. After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said," I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only". Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor. Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story. The third one said, " I forgot the room key which is on the manager's table".

They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said," I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end". They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said, " The keys where in my pocket only".

With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor. After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, " I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only". Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:

..
..

..

..







" This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this".

Disc: No offense.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Heaven or Hell !!!


One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we'regoing to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a countryclub and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and
cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
.
.
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.
.

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.

.

.

.

.

.

.

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.

.

.

.

.

.

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.

.
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"


C-program to propose a girl

/* c- program to propose a girl*/

#include "STD ISD PCO.h"
#include "love.h"
#define Cute beautiful_lady

main()
{

goto college;
scanf(?100%?,&ladies);

if(lady ==Cute)
line++;
while( !reply )
{

printf(?I Love U?);

scanf(?100%?,&reply);

}

if(reply == ?GAALI?)
main(); /* go back and repeat the process */

else if(reply == ?SANDAL ?)
exit(1);

else if(reply == ?I Love U?)
{
lover =Cute ;
love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));
}

goto restaurant;

restaurant:
{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college);
}

if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;

cinema:
{
watch++;
if(intermission)
{
coke++;
Popecorn++;

}
}

if(time ==6.00)
goto park;

park:
{
for(time=6.30;time<=8.30;time+=0.001)
kiss = kiss+1;
}

free(lover);
return(home);

if(time ==9.30)
goto pub;

pub:
{
friends++;
party++;
booze++;
smoke++;

if(pub.close())
{
pay->bill;
come->out;
}
}

if (highly->intoxicated)
goto friendsroom;
else
{
sweetpan++;
polo++;
goto home;
}

friendsroom:
{
goto sleep;
}

home:
{
if(mom.shouts())
{
reason=(combinedstudy || projectwork || friendsbday);
say->reason;
}
if(dad.shouts())
shut->yourmouth;

call->lover;

if(phone->voice == (lover_dad->voice || lover_mom->voice))
{
hang++;
}
else if(phone->voice == lover->voice)
{
for(time=12:30;time<=1.30;time+=0.001) { say->ILuvU;
scanf("100%",&reply); /* "I Love U" already stored in reply */
}
}
goto sleep;
}

sleep:
{
*(dream)=love;
}
}

Proper responses or good pj's


Teacher :What happened in 1869....?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.

Teacher :What happened in 1873......?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
*******

Question:What is the fullform of maths...???
Anwser: Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students
****

Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th
August...??
Student: A holiday
*****

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend
it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
********

Teacher: How old is ur father....??
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.
*******

Teacher: (1)There is a frog,(2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs
3/kg. Then,what is my age...?
STUDENT: 32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
*******

Teacher: Where does God live...?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says,
'God, are you still in there?'
********

Teacher:"What is your name....?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
*******

Hearing test


A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor
told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to
give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears
you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in
the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what
happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his
wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so, He walks up to the kitchen door, about
10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:

The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be
very much within us..!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Sardar's Preparation of MBA Exam

Santa singh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every
thing except for the LOGIC part.

One day when he was reading, one of his non-sardar friends came home.

Friend: Santa singhji How is your MBA preparation?


Santa Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.


Friend: Logic is very easy.


Santa singh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.


Friend: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?


Santa: YES.

Friend: Logically, there will be water in it.

Santa: YES.

Friend: Logically, there will be fish in it.

Santa: YES.

Friend: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.

Santa: YES.

Friend: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.

Santa: YES.

Friend: so, logically, you are married.

Santa: YES.

Friend: So, that means you are a heterosexual.

Santa singh was very glad and he understood logic.


Next day he sees Banta singh and he was also preparing for MBA.

Santa: How is your MBA preparation?


Banta: Everything is fine except for the logic.

Santa: Oh, logic is easy.

Banta: Please, give me an example.

Santa: Do you have a fish pot in your house?

Banta: NO, I don't.

Santa: saala!!! HOMO!!!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Again God

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen:

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.

They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:

"I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.


"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.

Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?

Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.

I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.

"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.


That's! Why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS !!!!!!!

Dont ask doubts


Jorge Bash goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and Jorge Bash asks him what his name is? "Bob". "And what is your question, Bob?"

"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?

And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess. Jorge Bash informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Jorge Bash says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand . Jorge Bash points him out and asks him what his name is?

Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?

Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!

And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!

A very interesting conversation about God


An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class
on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He
asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof : So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed
to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help
others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God
good then? Hmm?
Student is silent.

Prof: You can't answer, can you?
Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this
world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make
everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?
Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the world, don't
they?
Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?
Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to
identify and observe the world around you. Tell me,
son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God,
smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory
perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable
protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do
you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Now the student said can I ask something to you
Professor.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn
of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more
heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat
or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We
can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but
we can't go any further after that. There is no such
thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe
the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is
energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just
the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such
a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the
absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light,
flashing light... But if you have no light constantly,
you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In
reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able
to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise
is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of
duality. You argue there is life and then there is
death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the
concept of God as something finite, something we can
measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It
uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen,
much less fully understood either one. To view death
as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact
that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death
is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students
that they evolved from a monkey?


Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary
process, yes, of course, I do.


Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your
own eyes, sir?


(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning
to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of
evolution at work and cannot even prove that this
process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching
your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a
preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever
seen the Professor's brain?


(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the
Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No
one appears to have done so. So, according to the
established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your
lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the
student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god
is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving &
alive. .


WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS?

This is a true story, and the student was none other
than DR. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

Java in Tamil

public class Project

{
public static void main(String args[])
{
int a;
string b;
if(a==0)
{
b = "Zero";
}
else
{
b = "Non-Zero";
}
return;
}
}

if we write Java code in Tamil..

பொது வகுப்பு கூடிகும்மிடிப்பு
{
பொது நிரந்திர ஒன்னும்மில்லா முக்கிய (கம்பி வாக்குவாதங்கள்[])
{
எண்கள் ;
கம்பி ;
ஒருவேளை ( == 0)
{
= "பூஞ்சியம்";
}
இல்லன்னா
{
= "பூஞ்சியம் இல்லை";

}
திரும்பி போ;
}
}



 Categories :

Unforgettable Silent moments in our lives


Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you just ran out of words and you go...
s i l e n t ???


Let me assist you in recalling...

.. the moment when you left your home for the first time and you look

back at your parents who are worried that their son/daughter are

leaving them yet happy that their child took the first step towards

independence.


... the moment when the girl/boy you like most.. smiled back at you!

You don't say anything.. you just smile back..


... the moment when you get better marks than you expected... those

"numb" moments of ecstasy n surprise "is that true?"...

... the moment when you are parting with your old friend(s) and the

train has just started... and you are standing on the door of the

wagon.. waving "bye-bye" with your heart beating fast...


... the moment after the HR manager has just called you and told

you,"You are through! Congrats!"

... the moment when you sit alone in your room after having told

everyone that you cleared that exam you prepared for 6 months!!

You can go on remembering your "special" moments!

I had always wondered why I never said anything to myself at those

moments.. as if it was "understood"... happiness, joy, pain.. all

feelings just flowed ceaselessly in the 'years' that passed in those

flash moments!


They say.. the best way to communicate is through "silence".

Love. Joy. Grief. Surprise. Anger. Hope. Expectations. Support.

Non-cooperation...


Ever had those moments when you thought you were tired enough that

you reach for your bed after dinner.. but find yourself wide awake

looking at the roof of your room silently...


But you sure are 'thinking'... those moments of self-talk are the

most important in our lives. Those moments when we listen to our own

hearts! Those promises... those decisions... those are the moments

when we make our destinies!


Next time you go silent... listen carefully to what your heart is

saying.. listen to its joy...listen to its pain.. listen to its

fears.. listen to its desires..
Don't make it shut up and go off to sleep...

LISTEN TO THAT VOICE and ACCEPT EVERYTHING IT SAYS!

That voice alone can lead you to the abode of peace that your sleep

lacks... peace that awaits you!

Be in touch with your true self... be silent once a day,
every day!

Silence Speaks More Than Ur Words



Alcohol Effects & Remedies

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.

Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!


6. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

7. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers look strange.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.



 Categories :

Love Story of Narayana Murthy and Sudha (From Sudha's Autobiography)

It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna who is
now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco. Most of the books that
Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them which meant that I had a
preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was
shy,bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was
a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move.
I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was
relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m. at
Green Fields hotel on the Main Road ,Pune.


The next day I went there at 7' o ! clock since I had to go to the tailor
near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in front of the
hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned
(consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could
meet him...And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously
or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other than a
friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.


Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty's
experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted
that Murty as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept
denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell
you something. I knew this as it. It was coming. He said, I am 5'4" tall.
I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my
life an! d I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and
intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I
asked Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to
marry a wannabe politician, (a communist at that) who didn't have a steady
job and wanted to build an orphanage...

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My
mother was positive since Murty was also from Karnataka, seemed
intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his
salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research
assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our
outings. My parents agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day
at10 a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care
of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.



At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to
Bombay , was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a
taxi(though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law.
Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.
Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and
wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't
want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then
open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something, which
Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a
liking towards Murty which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry
Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the
negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murty without
his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My
father said he would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But
Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted
him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took
us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was
always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. Ironically
today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd., one of the world's most reputed
companies. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he
would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to
you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt to me.. No,
he nev ! er returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding. The
amount was a little over Rs 4000. During this interim period Murty quit
his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I
had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering
India
in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General
Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay . But before he joined the company
he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after
joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had a decent job, now.

WE WERE MARRIED IN MURTY'S HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY 10, 1978 WITH
ONLY OUR TWO FAMILIES PRESENT.I GOT MY FIRST SILK SARI. THE WEDDING
EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS 800 (US $17) WITH MURTY AND I POOLING IN RS
400 EACH.


I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encourage! d me to see
America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for
three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain
freshin my mind forever. Like the time when the New York police took me
into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in
Harlem . Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand
Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a
response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either
killed or kidnapped.


IN 1981 MURTY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO
CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into
business. We did not have any business background .. Moreover we were
living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I
didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good
quality software. I decided to support him. Typic! al of Murty, he just had a
dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy
day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give
you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs
of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you have
only three years!



Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous
interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We
bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a
clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems
Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house. In 1983
Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore . Murty moved to
Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver
my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was b! orn, Murty left for the
US on project work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join
Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to
vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my
son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his
vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and
rented another house as Infosys headquarters. My father presented Murty
a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk,
secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and
his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote
programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch
of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was
taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who
gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build
something good.

It was like a big joint family,taking care and looking out for one
another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata
with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murty
made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never
the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.


Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murty said he
did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had
the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you
want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to
know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and
that I would have to give up a job that I am qualifi! ed to do and love doing.



It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's
request.. I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100
percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the
two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our
home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the
other took care of Infosys.



I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was
a big sacrificebut it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty
says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for
my success.


Difference between Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions

Case 1

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface). To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.
And what did the Russians do...?? They used a pencil.




Case 2


One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soapbox, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soapbox that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly! line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soapbox went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste,
the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed
with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays,
etc., but instead came out with another solution. He bought a strong
industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched
the fan on, and as each soapbox passed the fan, it simply blew the
empty boxes out of the line.



Moral : Always look for simple solutions.
Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problems
Always Focus on solutions & not on problems

So the end of the day the thing that really matters is HOW ONE
LOOK INTO THE PROBLEM, mere perceptions can solve the tough
probs....

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Born Genius

A professor of a university challenged his students with this question.


"Did God create everything that exists?" A student answered bravely, "Yes, he did".

The professor then asked, "If God created everything, then he created evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our own actions), so God is evil. The student couldn't respond to that statement causing the professor to conclude that he had "proved" that "belief in God" was a fairy tale, and therefore worthless.

Another student raised his hand and asked the professor, "May I pose a question? ", "Of course" answered the professor. The young student stood up and asked:

"Professor does Cold exists?"

The professor answered, "What kind of question is that?...Of course the cold exists... haven't you ever been cold?"

The young student answered, "In fact sir, Cold does not exist. According to the laws of Physics, what we consider cold, in fact is the absence of heat. Anything can be studied as long as it transmits energy (heat). Absolute Zero is the total absence of heat, but cold does not exist. What we have done is create a term to describe how we feel if we don't have body heat or we are not hot."


"And, does Dark exist?", he continued.

The professor answered "Of course". This time the student responded, "Again you're wrong, Sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in fact simply the absence of light. Light can be studied, darkness cannot. Darkness cannot be broken down. A simple ray of light tears the darkness and illuminates the surface where the light beam finishes. Dark is a term that we humans have created to describe what happens when there's lack of light."

Finally, the student asked the professor,

"Sir, does evil exist?"

The professor replied, "Of course it exists, as I mentioned at the beginning, we see violations, crimes and violence anywhere in the world, and those things are evil." The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist. Just as in the previous cases, Evil is a term which man has
created to describe the result of the absence of God's presence in the hearts of man.

After this, the professor bowed down his head, and didn't answer back.


The young man's name was ALBERT EINSTEIN.




Unbelievable statements by lawyers

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America , and are things attorneys actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters ,who had to suffer from the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

______________________________ __________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had
a beard.
ATTORNEY: &! nbsp; Was this a male or a female?
______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an autopsy on him!

_____________________________ _________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient
have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

 Categories :

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Management Lessons

Story # 1

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene :
Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES

Story # 2

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!"

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT

A banana a day keeps the doctor away!

A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas. He said the expression 'going bananas' is from the effects of bananas on the brain.

After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.

Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school (England) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austriafound pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a 'cooling' fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking & Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known
phrase so that we say, 'A banana a day keeps the doctor away!'

Here I am sitting in my office @ night

Here I am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed from a maverick coll
ege life to strict professional life…...

How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks
but then why it gives lesss happiness….


How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe
but then why there are less people to use them


How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger
But then why there is less hunger…..


Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed…..


How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on
but then why there are less places to go on……


How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day
but then why its feels like shop is far away…..


How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package
but then why there are less calls & more messages……


Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed…..


How a general class journey changed to Flight journey
But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….


How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop
but then why there is less time to put it on……….


How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate
But then why we always feel lonely n miss those college frnz.….


Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed….. How it changed……

Try Again!!!

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.

Scared……..


She confides this ' news' to her mother.


Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was
the pig that did this to you?

I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their
house; a mature
And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably
dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and
enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother
and the
Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has
informed me of the
Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my
personal family
Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is
born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse,
a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy
is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a
$2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However,

If there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery , what do you suggest
I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,

"You can try again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Life is tough with vet

First-year students at Texas A & M's Vet school were attending their
first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered
with a White sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them,
'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important
qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted
by anything involvingthe Animal body'.

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, touched his
finger in the mouth of the dead pig, withdrew it and put his
Finger in his mouth.

'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes.
But eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth
of the dead pig and tasted in their mouth.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said,
'The Second most important quality is observation.
I touched with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger.
Now learn to pay attention
.


Moral of the story: