Sunday, April 5, 2009

Unbelievable statements by lawyers

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America , and are things attorneys actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters ,who had to suffer from the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

______________________________ __________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had
a beard.
ATTORNEY: &! nbsp; Was this a male or a female?
______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an autopsy on him!

_____________________________ _________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient
have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

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